To Inspire:

We’ve been sharing insights from the book, JOYSPAN: The Art and Science of Thriving in Life’s Second Half. The author, gerontologist Dr. Kerry Burnnight, shares that joyspan reflects an understanding that it’s not just the number of years we live (lifespan), or even the number of years we live in good health (healthspan), but how many years we truly enjoy our life (joyspan). Kerry shares four essential actions or elements that enable one’s joyspan:

• Grow – our determination to continue to grow as a person.
• Connect – our dedication to building meaningful relationships with other people.
• Adapt – Our desire and ability to adjust to life’s inevitable challenges.
• Give – our willingness to share ourselves to enrich the lives of others.

In two previous WealthNotes we shared her insights into the first two essential elements, Grow (read that here), and Connect (read that here). In this WealthNote, we share her insights on Adapt, to adjust to new circumstances in a way that ensures continued functionality. Adaptation requires flexibility, creativity, and the ability to learn from and respond to change. Here are some excerpts from Kerry’s chapter of Adapt:

As you age you will encounter shifts in every direction: relationships, roles, health, and living arrangements. You can’t foresee what lies ahead but one thing is certain: knowing how to adapt is a key to enjoying your long life. Your response to change will determine your ability to thrive. And when the change involves grief (the death of a spouse or loved one), adapting can be challenging but is so important.

Here’s how to help someone during a life change:

Listen: Avoid changing the subject or minimizing the loss. Instead, acknowledge the situation and allow the person to talk and vent, free of judgment. Listening is more important than speaking.

Give practical assistance: Instead of vague offers of help, suggest specific tasks you can take on, like grocery shopping, cooking, or household chores. People may not feel motivated to ask for help in rough times, so make your assistance concrete and tangible.

Keep up the support: Continue to check in periodically. When someone is going through a troubling diagnosis, a loss, or a new part of life, there isn’t a known end date to the associated challenges, just changes in how they are feeling.

Watch for warning signs of depression: If a loved one’s grief or fear worsens or doesn’t gradually improve, this may indicate depression or anxiety. Be supportive and, if necessary, encourage them to seek professional help.

At the end of this chapter, Kerry shared some internal and external coping strategies for adapting to change:

Internal: Journaling, practicing self-kindness and gratitude, prayer, and meditation.

External: Seek support from family and friends, join a support group, volunteer for a cause you care about, develop your faith life, take a class, or learn a new skill, and engage with others in physical activities like walking.

Part of a JOYSPAN is the ability to adapt to change. Acquire the skills of adapting and share them with others – it will add so much to your life and theirs.

Finally, have a wonderful Thanksgiving: we all have so much for which to be thankful. And know how thankful we are for each of you, our cherished clients, and friends.

Written by Matt Palmer, Partner & Co-Founder