To Inspire:

“Your habits will hold you back more than your enemies ever will.” This bit of wisdom comes to you courtesy of James Clear, author of Atomic Habits. You may know that here at The Joseph Group we love to recommend and give books, and Atomic Habits is one of our favorites. It’s all about improving yourself every day through tiny, incremental changes.

I recently subscribed to Clear’s 3-2-1 Thursday newsletter. Each week he shares three ideas from him, two quotes from others, and one question. So far, I’m impressed. It’s a very quick read, but every week includes at least one thing that really makes me think. The habits idea which starts this article continues with, “Which is good news because you can change your habits. You can’t change your enemies. Stay focused on what you can control.”

One of this week’s 2 Quotes from Others really struck me. It’s from Indra Nooyi, former CEO of Pepsi: “Whatever anybody says or does, assume positive intent. You will be amazed at how your whole approach to a person or problem becomes very different.”

If you assume someone is acting toward you with negative intent, you will be angry. If you can assume positive intent and leave that anger behind, your response changes. You don’t yell. You don’t get defensive. You have a much better chance of staying in control of your emotions. Instead, you can try to understand and listen to the other person. What are they really saying? So often, what people say and do comes from a place of anger, fear, or hurt, and really listening to them can let you see where they are coming from and respond in a more productive way.

Of course, in the heat of the moment, this may be easier said than done. Here are three strategies for reacting with positive intent:

Pause and breathe. Don’t just react, take just a moment to breathe and decide to assume the best of the person or the behavior.

Start with empathy. Acknowledge the other person’s perspective by saying things like “We see this differently, but I respect your view.”

Separate the behavior from the person. Treat people as intrinsically valuable even when their actions are frustrating. (Read that one again. This might be one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever heard.)

I’ll end with this week’s 1 Question, because it’s such a good one: Which part of your day currently feels most aligned with where you want to go? Which part of your day currently feels less aligned?

Have a great weekend!

Written by Michelle O’Brien, Manager of Marketing & Communications