To Inspire:

We’ve been sharing insights from the book, JOYSPAN: The Art and Science of Thriving in Life’s Second Half. The author, gerontologist Dr. Kerry Burnnight, shares that joyspan reflects an understanding that it’s not just the number of years we live (lifespan), or even the number of years we live in good health (healthspan), but how many years we truly enjoy our life (joyspan). Kerry shares four essential actions or elements that enable one’s joyspan:

• Grow – our determination to continue to grow as a person.
• Connect – our dedication to building meaningful relationships with other people.
• Adapt – Our desire and ability to adjust to life’s inevitable challenges.
• Give – our willingness to share ourselves to enrich the lives of others.

In a previous WealthNote we shared her insights into the first essential element, Grow (read that here). In this WealthNote, we share her insights on Connect – our commitment to building meaningful relationships with other people. Here are some excerpts from Chapter 5:

Quality connections are crucial for joyspan because humans are social beings. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, you are hardwired for connection – it’s embedded in your biology. And connections are a powerful predictor of both mental and physical health and having healthy relationships has been shown to reduce stress, boost the immune system, lower blood pressure, reduce inflammation and help save off loneliness, depression, and cognitive decline. Relationships stimulate the release of hormones like oxytocin and endorphins which promote feelings of happiness and reduce stress. Without regular, meaningful interactions, we miss out on these benefits, making it harder to feel energized, resilient, and positive as we grow older. Your social connections ever are as significant a predictor of longevity as factors like diet, exercise and even smoking.

One of the myths about growing older is that you must maintain your independence. The reality is that we have never been independent to begin with (think childhood, marriage, work, past times, faith). Embracing interdependence allows people to lean on one another during tough times, building a supportive network that fosters mental and emotional well-being. When we contribute to the well-being of others, we experience a sense of accomplishment and purpose that goes beyond individual success and fosters a profound sense of joy and contentment.

As an example of one who was dedicated to building meaningful relationships with other people, Kerry shares the life of her dad’s best friend, Byron. At Byron’s funeral, nearly everyone said that he was one of their closest friends. Each person talked about how Byron called them regularly for no reason other than to hear how they were. He was the one who instigated plans to get together, and who posted birthdays and anniversaries on his wall to remind him to call or send people a message or a note on those days. When someone went into the hospital, it was Byron who visited them. Byron had to be dedicated to this kind of connection – it required time, thought and energy. He did not fall prey to damaging thoughts like, “why am I always the one who calls someone?” Toward the end of his life, he continued his outreach from a wheelchair while juggling doctor appointments, hospital visits and pain. Byron poured himself into connecting with others – and the result was incredible joy and fulfillment – for others and for himself.

I’m really enjoying this book, and the insights shared are good for all of us. As you consider your life, what can you do today, tomorrow, this weekend to reach out to someone else and strengthen your connection to them? It will make their day – and yours!  Joyspan – pursue it and live it!

Written by Matt Palmer, Partner & Co-Founder