To Inspire:

What will you do when you retire? If you are retired, did you think about what your retirement days would be like? We plan for our financial and physical health in retirement, but few prepare for how to matter, to continue to feel seen and needed.

Mattering is the deep human need to feel valued and to have a chance to add value to the world. Author Jennifer Breheny Wallace says mattering, well, matters. Studies show the psychological losses in retirement – feeling less valued, needed, or connected – are strong predictors of post-retirement depression. At its core, mattering answers a fundamental question: Does my life make a difference?

According to Wallace, there are four different components to feeling like you matter: feeling significant – seen and essential, appreciated – valued for your contributions, invested in – supported and cared for, and depended on – needed by others.

Fewer than half of workers really think about what their lives will be like once they stop working and retirees often report feeling bored, struggling with the lack of structure, and having a loss of connection.

Wallace shares the story of a retired teacher who said how much she missed the brief hallway chats and luncheon check-ins with colleagues she’d once taken for granted. Without them, she felt cut off from the daily connection her work had provided. What changed everything, she said, was deciding to say yes to every invitation that came her way, like coffee with a neighbor and joining a book club. Each yes helped her rebuild the connections she craved.

So, instead of asking “how long will I live?” the better question might be “how will I continue to matter?” We each need to develop a real strategy for staying connected and engaged in the years ahead.

If you’re seeking connection, one place to start is with a goal of saying yes to an invitation, or extending one, once a week. And please remember: an invitation isn’t just about you. If a friend or acquaintance reaches out to you, they’re taking a risk in their own bid for connection. By saying yes, you’re telling them you value them. In this way, extending or accepting an invitation becomes a mutual exchange of mattering.

My challenge to you: this weekend, invite a neighbor to coffee, reconnect with a friend, or research volunteer opportunities at a local nonprofit. Finding new ways to continue to feel seen, useful, and capable of making a difference is so important in living a great life!

Written by Michelle O’Brien, Manager of Marketing & Communications

Source: Wallace, Jennifer Breheny, The Retirement Crisis No One Warns You About: Mattering. WSJ.com.