To Inform:

When I joined The Joseph Group this summer as an intern, I was excited not only to grow in financial knowledge but also to understand the emotional and psychological factors that shape our money decisions. As a student of both finance and psychology, I was recommended a book that quickly became a favorite: The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel. One line stuck with me: “Your personal experiences with money make up maybe 0.00000001% of what’s happened in the world, but maybe 80% of how you think the world works.”

I wanted to test that idea. So, I sat down with two siblings, John and Jane, to explore how their views of money were shaped — and reshaped — by life, loss, and growth. In 2021, their father passed away unexpectedly. At the time, John was just 16 and living at home; Jane was 22 and living independently as a missionary. What they shared with me highlights how deeply personal and varied our financial mindsets can be, even within the same family.

Earliest Memories: Foundations of a Money Mindset

Both siblings had formative experiences with money in childhood that shaped their mindset toward finances today.

John recalls working for his dad at 6 or 7 years old, helping in the yard or cleaning the office: “He would give me the choice between a treat or money. I started to learn I could take the money and buy a treat — and even have some left over to save.”

Jane, on the other hand, vividly remembers carrying a calculator through the grocery store during the recession: “When I was 8 or 9, my mom had me carry a calculator around the store and keep track how much the items in the cart cost, so that we could stay exactly on budget.”

Already, we see two foundational money lessons: one rooted in reward and saving, the other in restriction and precision. Both experiences are valid and formative.

Grief and Financial Shock: The First Response

After their father passed away, both siblings experienced financial fear, but it took different forms.

John, still in high school, assumed the worst: “I thought we were going to be broke. My mom hadn’t worked in decades, since having children. I figured my mom wouldn’t have enough so I needed to get a job to pay for what I wanted.”

Jane, meanwhile, was for the most part financially independent, serving as a full-time missionary, relying on support from donors. Her reaction wasn’t just practical — it was emotional: “There was a lot of fear initially because my dad was the breadwinner. Anytime I would spend money there was guilt attached to it.”

Morgan Housel reminds us that financial behavior isn’t always rational — it’s emotional. Jane’s guilt and John’s fear weren’t rooted in spreadsheets — they were deeply human reactions to grief and instability.

Spending and Gifting: Guilt vs. Gratitude

When I asked how they experienced spending after their dad passed, their answers reflected their life stage and mindset.

John felt conflicted: “I didn’t like receiving gifts after my dad died, especially from my mom because I felt like a burden and I didn’t want anyone to spend money on me.”

Jane, in contrast, found peace in receiving gifts: “When someone gave me a meal or a gift card, I felt loved. I learned to receive without guilt.”

This contrast is striking; John’s scarcity mindset came from being immersed in the financial crisis at home. Jane’s independence gave her a buffer to see gifts a way to be loved, not as a burden.

What They’ll Do Differently: Legacy Planning

Both siblings are determined to build a financial legacy — one rooted in security and peace.

Jane plans to break the cycle of fear: “I don’t want my kids to be scared there won’t be enough. I want them to grow up knowing that God will provide, and we’ll be okay.”

John is taking a more structural approach: “I want an emergency fund. I want to invest — stocks, real estate, maybe businesses. And I want to have life insurance, so my family will be protected of something ever happens to me.”

They both want safety. However, Jane is more focused on emotional safety whereas John is focused on practical financial safety.

Final Thoughts

Talking to John and Jane was eye opening and reminded me how much our money mindset is shaped by more than math. It’s shaped by our life experiences. This situation is unique to John and Jane, but many others can share in this sentiment between siblings. This illustrates a central truth from The Psychology of Money: “Doing well with money has little to do with how smart you are and a lot to do with how you behave.”

Written by Avery Rice, Intern